Every night I talk to the moon. In hopes Anthony is on the other side, talking to me too.
After 14 months, the pain is no different than it was on the day my son died. The pain is simply accepted now. I no longer fight to feel normal.
I am in constant heartache and will be for the remainder of my days.
The Bruno Mars song “Talking To The Moon” has me mesmerized, I can’t listen to it enough lately.
I will be back. I am working on meditations daily and it’s helping me to better center my core, my inner spirit. Meditation is helping me accept the here and now, versus longing for what can’t or isn’t.
I am in a transitional phase of my grief and I am trying to decide where this blog fits in. I know I want to write, I just wonder if it’s the best use of my time right now.
Losing a child makes you evaluate every facet of your existence and life’s experiences. Each evaluation is singular in nature and there are no assigned time tables. You simply have to “roll with it.”
For people that are control freaks, like both Lou and I, rolling with it concept is frustrating. Because, by rolling with it, you can’t control your emotional outbursts or waves.
Hence, why I meditate…
Meditation helps you accept the here and now, as I said earlier.
He doesn’t meditate.
Thank God I do.
It also teaches me tolerance.