Yesterday the young woman Lydia that I mentor, and I had a very candid discussion about our pasts. Well I should say, MY way-back-when past, her recent past. She is 23, I am 49, she has experiences, I have memories.
One of many things we have in common was the inner struggle during our 20s to find the true woman we are destined to become. When you look in the mirror at 23, 24, 29, how you define you?
My 20s were truly a “formative” process. And yours will be too. I didn’t know who I truly was until I was 36. At 36 was when I felt like I fully understood the woman inside my body.
Do you know what you really like and enjoy in your 20s?
- The foods that make your taste buds tingle?
- The places and sights that take your breath away?
- The experiences that give you joy?
- The music that makes you sing out loud?
- Have you cried enough tears to understand love?
Do you have a job? Financial plans (see my friend at HowToStuffYourPig for help there)..Have a solo credit card and insurance? Those are just basic things… But they all matter… They all form you.
At 23, you have just spent the past 12-18 years in school. Elementary to University, some of you Graduate programs. Some of you are still in school. You know your likes and preferences as a student, but do you know them as a woman?
Some of you will read this and think, “Miranda is so old school, I had my life figured out at 19.” Well, yes, I am old school, but that’s the way my heart works. I couldn’t figure out answers to questions instantly when I was growing up via Google, or Snapchat my “bae” the latest filter face.
However, no matter how much technology you have at your fingertips, there is still a woman inside your 20-something year old body trying to find herself. It’s the truth and part of the natural order of life. You will not have your life figured out by 25, so stop putting so much pressure on yourselves to do so. And stop shaking your head while reading this. Lol.
You may not realize it now, but when you’re in your 30s, you will. I did. And finding myself was liberating. I looked in the mirror one morning and said “I had my experiences, I am an adult and I like you, you are pretty f’in awesome.”
In the interim, I found a song that I want to share with Lydia and all of you. Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson. Growing up and figuring out who I was helped me breakaway from many of the stigmas and preconceived notions I carried with me from childhood. Spreading my wings and learning how to fly…
I wish I had today’s Power Song when I was 23. I think I would have played it daily. It’s words resonate deeply with me and I hope you enjoy it too!