Confidence Midlife Motivation Success

The Great Conversationalists 

September 3, 2015

We all know them. Those people who when they enter a room and open their mouth, everyone turns to talk to them.  Or when they approach a crowd and introduce themselves they instantly have everyone transfixed, laughing and engaged.

“They’re so interesting!  He/she is so awesome, they are so charming!”

At almost 49 years old I am still not that person. But I am working on it.

I am definitely not that person. It’s funny and so contrary. I can and have interviewed CEOs on camera, speak in front of 500+ people on motivation, leadership and being your personal best.  No problem, easy peasy. I have trained and know how to command a stage, present to an audience and use my body language effectively.  I love to be front and center in some circumstances.

A networking event gives me the jitters. I hate cocktail events. I am always so nervous in small groups.  I try my best to ask questions and learn all I can about the people around me who I have just met. Never fails to end in an awkward pause. Even mentoring. I have 5, yes 5 mentees and having a casual unprepared conversation can sometimes be awkward.   It’s not easy for me to be casual.

Here it comes….

  

I am a writer, not a talker. If I was only able to text at networking events I would be the star of the night!!

 

During my 49th year, I plan on practicing the art of conversation.  One of my goals for turning 50 is to have significantly improved my conversation skills.  Less awkward pauses and nonsensical comments; more practicality and lasting impressions.  

Thank you to Celestine Chua at Personal Excellence for publishing these tip sheets. Body language is something we all need to be cognizant of if we are to improve the art of conversation.  We say more with our eyes and bodies than we do with our mouths.  

 

Oh the disdain!  Imagine asking her for a coffee?

 

 
These rules Celestine publishes for being a great conversationalist are in many books and teaching materials. There is nothing new here, however there is a reason they’re repeated over and over, they work! I have added this quote from Steven Covey as a personal #11. There is also a significant amount of listening that a good conversationalist performs.  Listening with the intent to UNDERSTAND versus respond. So many pick up one point in the conversation and are already planning their responses before the sentence is over.

I have been guilty of this bad habit on a number of occasions. I need to focus on listening too.

I am taping this list of tips and the quote to my computer and my fridge.

I like taping teaching tools to my fridge. My sons read them too. The side of my fridge is like our little sharing board. I just hope my sons retain some of what they read.

Actually, Anthony my oldest is an excellent conversationalist, he knows how to navigate people and the room. He is smooth.

 

Darn it, he must have gotten it from his Dad. He certainly didn’t get from me.

Joseph is more like me, talks for a few mins and then, the pause…

 

Awkward. Poor kid. Takes after his mother.

 

Not sure about Luciano yet. Let’s see what life brings. He is only 16, he has plenty of time to practice his conversation skills.

I on the other hand only have the next 375 days to practice.  I intend to turn 50 and be a fabulous conversationalist!

Time to talk! 💋~Miranda

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