Family Humor Moms Parenting Women Working Mom

I Brought Them Into This World, Raised Them… 

August 27, 2015

Sometimes I just shake my head in disbelief. I say to myself, how did my life get here? My sons are adults in age, 24 and 20, but many days they’re bigger children than their 16 year old brother. 

I thought I raised them and more often than not they demonstrate they’re just not ready for adulthood. 

Today, they are their father’s kids.  Not mine!    My sons call or text me while I am at work and it’s with the most benign issues, however to them the world is collapsing.  

My oldest Anthony called me at work to “chat”: 

“Hey Ma, what are you doing?”

Working (same thing I have done from 7am-4pm for 25 years), why what’s up?

“Where’s Dad?”

I am sitting in the middle of Manhattan and my sons and their father are all in Queens…

I don’t know where your Father is Anthony I am at work, why?

“I need a ride home from train.”

Um, you can’t go get a Metrocard and take the bus?

“Mom, really?  I gotta go.”

  • WHO CALLED WHO HERE??

Their father obviously is out and/or dealing with another of my sons life issues.

My middle one is some days just unapproachable. And if I did approach, I would give him a good…yes I am going to go there. 

Yes, a spanking.  I said it.  Yes I want to spank sometimes but it would be a bit ridiculous now. He is 20, and I never spanked him as a child.

But I definitely wish I did sometimes. He is such a sassy mouth!! Ring ring goes my cell phone…

“Hi Mom”

Hey there Joe, what’s up?

“Dad is being really unreasonable and I just can’t take it.”

Ugh, here we go, another “Dad said no to something moment.”  I don’t entertain those moments at the office. 

Well Joseph I am at work and since I cannot be there to discuss with both of you directly I think you should sort this out with your father. 

“Mom you just don’t listen, and I need you to listen for 2 minutes.”

Ok but you have 30 seconds.  I have a meeting. 

“God Mom, there shouldn’t be a time limit on this. Know what forget it, you’re just like Dad. You never listen, are a pain in my ass, and this is why I never call you at work.”

  • Click…. Call over.  Big Little brat hung up on me. 

Please Lord give me strength. Why did it become a crime to use the wooden spoon? It was good enough for my mother!
 When my sister and I misbehaved Mom always appeared in our room, wooden spoon in hand.  Plus she has these really piercing green eyes.  All she had to do was stare at you in a very Joan Crawford-esque, Mommie Dearest sort of way, with the spoon in hand, and we would be in tears. 

   Mom’s raised eyebrows would stop us in our tracks!! If I raise my eyebrows at my boys they ask me “what are you looking at?”

I remember one day my sister and I went into the kitchen, broke Mom’s wooden spoons and threw them away. She went out and bought stainless steel ones. Mom didn’t play games. 

So many days I wish Mom didn’t live in California so I could say “look at them” and she could stare and scare them into submission just like she did me! 

I gotta get her on FaceTime more often!!

Like I said in the beginning, this behavioral disease is currently limited to my 2 oldest.  It seemed to manifest at 18 and symptoms get worse as they get older.  My 16 year old has two more years before he contracts this disease, albeit I already see the signs. This is an exerpt of recent discussion…

“God Mom”

Louie you’re trying my patience. Keep it up and you will have a personal audience with our Lord and Savior.  Wanna meet him? 

“Fine, forget it then.”

  • Exit, stage right

I love my sons more than life itself on MOST days.  However today they’re their father’s children. 

And don’t think HE is any better. Some days that man is worse than a 6 year old. 

“No one is listening to me. You need to talk to them.”

I am not listening either, talk to YOUR sons yourself. 

“God Miranda, I just wanted you to listen.”

You’re trying my patience. Keep it up and you will have a personal audience with our Lord and Savior. Wanna meet him? 

“You can be such a pain in the ass.”  

  • Click… He hung up too. Big Bigger Brat

And to think I WONDER WHERE MY SONS PICKED UP THIS DISEASE FROM??  

… shaking my head…

💋~Miranda 

 

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