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Things That Make Us Smile The B*Tch Edition

August 18, 2015

Not for nothing, but I was a real b*tch today. 

Not a semi-normal, someone got my coffee order wrong, and then my bus was late so I was cranky for two hours b*tch. Or a I spilled my salad in my lap before giving a presentation and having someone say the oil spots all over my lap are not noticeable b*tch. 

I was a treat my best friend like a “punching bag”, so give me a glass of wine after a workout so I could think my mistakes over b*tch.  I was a I can’t get over myself, so hitch me up to a wagon like a horse and hang on for dear life b*tch.  I was a can cut your heart out with one glance so better not look at this Medusa or I will turn your ass to stone b*tch. 

Not kidding, I was scary.  

You could not speak to me today without me finding fault in every word that was said.  If you looked at me, I found something wrong with your eyes. If you happened to walk close to me on the street, you were risking verbal assault.  I was a true pain-in-the-ass. Period. 

And no I am not going to blame it on menopause or PMS, because that is a stereotypical demeaning excuse. As a woman I never would do that. I have to accept what I was. 

A b*tch.  Unfettered, untethered and unbridled.   The meanest of them all. 

  
I apologize for my poor behavior and to anyone who came in contact with me. You poor people, to have to deal with me today was an exercise in futility. 

I can’t guarantee it won’t happen again another day, but thank you to those who were brave enough to call me out on it. 

  

No promises.

There are good and bad days to be a b*tch. Today it was a bit tough to take my b*tchiness, even for me.  I did have a glass of wine after riding my bike. Not normal for me at all. I am never this malevolent to others and life. It truly does bother me. 

However, the best way to get over things is to admit fault, move on, and find something to laugh about. Here is a video from Key and Peele I Said B*Tch!  Enjoy!  It made me laugh. And I needed one today. 

The men scanning the room before they say the b-word about their wives is hysterical.  

I am going to go get this b*tch ready for bed. Let’s get this day over with so we can start again fresh tomorrow.  

Fingers Crossed the B*tchfest is over!!  If it lasts more than 3 days, it’s called a B*tchWave and makes a category 4 hurricane seem like an ocean breeze…

Stay tuned friends. Where is my tiara?  

💋 ~ Miranda

  

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