It is August 12! In exactly one month on September 12, I turn 49 and the year long celebration to 50 begins!! I have magnanimous plans for the next year! I cannot wait to start celebrating!!!
I look forward to including all of you in my celebrations!
Wow, 48 years went by so quickly. I still remember my father/daughter dance on my wedding day. He said “I blinked my eyes and you were an adult.” It didn’t mean much to me at the time, but that was 25 years ago.
When I got married I was a 23 year old literal “know nothing” marrying a 29 year old man who in my eyes knew everything.
That didn’t last, don’t think I am losing it people.
However I was ready for marriage. I found a very solid man with a good family who I adored. Plus, I always knew I wanted my children before I was 30. My Mother was 19 when she had me, my Dad was 22. We had a great relationship. I wanted the same.
By the time I was 25, I was expecting Anthony. He is my Heart. He made me change from Miranda to Mom. My firstborn transformed me.
At 28, Joseph was born and he is my Soul. When they handed him to me in the hospital, the song “I’ll Stand By You” by The Pretenders was on. I cried my eyes out. I swore my allegiance to be his protector, forever.
Then at 30 I lost my third child. It was heartbreaking. I was so excited, I had seen a sonogram of my baby and 2 weeks later he or she was gone.
On top of all this I had a history of huge fibroid tumors. Basketball sized ones. I had 2 prior myomectomies and was going for my third. The tumor was the size of a honey dew melon. They cut my uterus into pieces to remove it. I spent a week in hospital and had two transfusions due to blood loss during surgery. Not pretty. I wasn’t able to hold my boys for a month in order to heal. How do you tell a 2 year old “Mommy can’t hold you”?
My doctors told me I wouldn’t get pregnant again. It was sad news, however I had my heart and soul. My life was good. We bought a small house and Anthony and Joey were best friends.
Suddenly at age 31, I found out I was pregnant. It was amazing. This wasn’t supposed to happen. My doctors were extremely cautious and warned me that under no circumstances would my uterus make it through a normal delivery. It had too much scar tissue and was not stable. We made a delivery plan and at 36 weeks, Luciano came into the world via Caesarean section. My Inspiration.
He was in the NICU for 5 days and then I brought him home. My inspiration was such a joy, until we took him out of the house.
Luciano threw fits everywhere we went. Not minor crying like normal children. My son threw body bending, tear whaling, scream piercing fits. I walked out of more stores and restaurants than I could count. His brothers were always so quiet, I could take them anywhere. I took them to five star restaurants and people would compliment me on my perfectly behaved young men. Not my Inspiration, he made himself known. I held my head behind a menu a lot.
However, time flies and I miss the little things.
I blinked my eyes. My Heart is turning 24, my Soul is 20 and my Inspiration is 16. My Dad was right. You close your eyes for a split second and they’re grown up. Just like me.
I consider myself very blessed and while life has not always been perfect, I was given 3 gifts.
Even if I text them now multiple “?” every time they don’t answer a text and yell at them when they don’t pick up my calls. Brats.
It’s time to count down to 49 and reflect on all that life has given me on this journey. For the next 30 days I plan in being thankful every day and showing my gratitude.
Once I hit 49, the party begins!! I can’t wait.