I should tape a sign reading “Never Fails” to my forehead. I am NEVER on time, no matter where I have to go.
Now it’s 5:58pm and I am just crossing the 59th Street Bridge to leave Manhattan. I have to make it home to Queens, change and be at a barbecue by 7:00pm. Not gonna happen. Not a chance in hell. Actually, I would have a better chance of getting to hell than I would this barbecue at this rate.
It’s actually a bright, sunny HOT day today but I have someone next to me on the bus. I can’t ask the poor man to “put his head down so I can take a photo out the window,” so this one will have to do.
That would be pretty ballsy of me. Excuse me, mind lowering your head? Could you imagine? I wonder whether or not he’d do it?
I am now, as usual all stressed because I know I won’t be on time. When I get stressed, I sweat. The underside of my head is sweaty. Right at the base of my neck and hairline. Gross. Ugh this hair fiasco now means I will need dry shampoo and a quick shot with the blow dryer. Or maybe a ponytail? Either way, it’s more work before I get to the barbecue.
I cannot believe how slow this bus is moving. Never Fails.
When I do arrive my husband’s family will ask me 18x why I was late. They’re first generation Italian. Wonderful, loving people who I can’t imagine life without, they are always here! Let me give you a comparison, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, except I am the Xeno with the Toast Family.
My family isn’t dry, they just don’t do barbecues on the front lawn and consider 50 at dinner to be a “get-together”. His family does
I love the comment “Next time leave earlier.” My Father-in-law is always ready with that one. I smile politely and glare at my husband. He shrugs his shoulders.
Everyone thinks I have a job I can just say, “good night all” at 3pm and stroll out the door!” Not going to happen in a million years. My Mother-in-law describes my job as a “Secretary.” Love her, but she has no idea of what I do, and she is in her 80s, so why try to correct her at this point?
This traffic is going to be the death of me. It’s on every road we turn onto.
I actually multi-tasked so I wouldn’t be late. I got a call asking me to sign something urgent about 10 minutes before I had to leave the office. Happens pretty regularly at month end.
While I was waiting for the document to arrive I took a walk downstairs and picked up shoes at the Shoe Repair that I needed to do at lunchtime and didn’t get a chance to.
By the time I got back the document was on my desk, I signed it and was out the door.
Only 10 mins behind anticipated schedule. I was going to make it!
Dead stop again. Never fails! When I turn 50 I want magic “travel through time” powers. Think it’s possible?
I probably jinxed myself by thinking I would make home and to the barbecue on time. I now have 20 more minutes ahead of me of drive time and it’s 6:30pm.
What am I even going to wear?? Ugh!!
Wish me luck! Enjoy your weekend!!